A Letter to Mr and Mrs Nit

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Nit,

What the hell do you think you’re doing?

You just make up your bed 

In my dear child’s head

I’m so angry, I’m thinking of suing!

 

You think you can just mosey on in

Drop your sleeping bags

Pick up your mags

And settle down with a bottle of gin?!

 

After downing a few

You both start to get flirty

Get down and do the dirty

And soon the whole place looks like a zoo!

 

You are experts at hide-and-seek

I bet you come out to party at night

Even giving the teddies a fright

But you vamoose as soon as anyone takes a peek!

 

Now the whole place is full of baby nits

And I know you adore your mini-mes

But they are like a swarm of busy bees

And the truth is, that they are annoying little twits!

 

Now I come to the end of this ditty

But my poor child is still scratching

And your little ones just keep on hatching

So leave NOW before I bring out the Nitty Gritty!

 

headlice family

Have any of your kids suffered from the dreaded nits? How did you get rid of the pesky gits?

_______________________________________________________________

 

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19 thoughts on “A Letter to Mr and Mrs Nit

  1. Brilliant! Somehow we’ve managed to avoid the dreaded nits so far but I’m sure they’ll come biting at some point! #prose4T

  2. Luckily none of my daughters had nits when they were young. Heard and read that in olden days, especially in India they used to bring monkeys to remove the nits from the head, but you have to be very careful if you move your head the monkey gets very angry and starts harassing you! As far as I know the best way to remove the nits is to use the right comb. Can understand this very dreadful job and feel sorry for the children who have to go through this!

  3. Great poem. My little one is home educated but I’m sure he’ll pick up nits from his friends in the same way as school children do. I’m a primary teacher and have caught nits 3 times from kids in my class. Nice! #PoCoLo

  4. Suffered regular nit invasions all through my son’s primary years… found few of the lotions and potions to be very effective and/or more trouble than they were worth. Finally discovered the job was more effectively done with just a bottle of conditioner and the Nitty Gritty Nit Comb. From the last line of your poem I guess you’ve made the same discovery! That said, the completely shaved head works too, and as a threat can keep your kids sitting still for the delousing process ;-) #Prose4T

  5. They drive me bonkers, Treatign them and then being consistent and conditioner combing with the nitty grtty comb every other day for a couple of weeks is all that has worked for us. I hate them, Mich x

  6. Love this, very funny and I always admire anyone who can come up with poetry – wish I was so creative! Am dreading the day we have to deal with this… am hoping google will be my friend when it happens ;)

  7. Argh I hate nits – my older ones always used to get them but Kit and Ozzy have never had them (though they only wash their hair every 10 days). I found the battery operated nit combs the best by far – the ones that zap and kill the nits. Less smelly and chemically that nit shampoo and easy to use after you have brushed their hair. Hope the blighter naff off soon x

  8. Pure and simple joy to read your little ditty
    With a touch of anguish
    for your angel’s gritty nitty
    Just a quick trip to your local Boots
    For a fine comb to send packing
    Mr & Mrs Nit and their brood together
    With their bags and mags
    And bottle of gin to shifty.
    That no doubt with restore
    Your little child to her usual witty.

  9. So far, so good here, although nits have been round N’s nursery recently. I have nit comb and treatment ready to go if we spot anything. Nasty! I’m hoping the fact that his hair is only properly washed once a week will mean he avoids it.

  10. Strikes horror into me. We’ve had them twice and it takes hours of combing to rid my kids of them – GG has such thick hair. So far, as well as the Hedrin, Nitty Gritty comb, a bottle of conditioner, we’ve found that the following are required for a night of delousing: freezer space (for the teddies), hence ice cream has to be eaten, hot water (for the hour and a half sitting in the bath), the washing machine on repeat for 24 hours, and wine!

    • They are just the most horrible little creaures! The worst thing is that even if one teeny weeny nit is left behind, the whole cycle starts again! I think getting high on wine and ice cream is the best option. ;-)

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