Out of the darkness and into the light

On the 1st day of Christmas, my 7 year old daughter was rushed to intensive care.

She couldn’t breathe.

She was struggling, gasping, fighting.

I watched her close her exhausted eyes as they put her to sleep.

A thousand thoughts rushed through my mind.

I was scared, bewildered, overwhelmed, numb.

Her tiny body in a big bed surrounded by endless wires and monitors.

The machines were breathing for her.

She looked helpless, motionless, vulnerable, peaceful.

Painful needles poked into her fragile body.

Drugs and medications coursing through her veins.

Painkillers, sedatives, muscle relaxants, antibiotics.

We were like walking zombies in the day. Staying awake all night.

Puffy eyed and weary limbed, we paced the corridor outside her room.

Waiting, watching, praying, hoping…

Should we talk to her? Could she hear us? Would we hear her laugh again?

If only we could just give her a cuddle? Tell her how much we loved her.

Longing, yearning, wanting, wishing.

The phones were ringing and pinging non stop.

Messages and texts came pouring in as slowly the news spread.

Family, friends, colleagues, parents, teachers, acquaintances and even strangers.

All praying, consoling, supporting, comforting.

They held special prayers, services and chantings.

In the temple, church, gurudwara, mosque, and at home.

All that faith could not go unanswered. Somebody had to listen.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my daughter opened her eyes.

All her guardian angels must have been very busy.

Watching over her, smiling down on her, protecting her.

Bringing her out of the darkness and into the light.

She is blessed, and so are we to have her back.



A special mention and heartfelt thank you to the amazing unsung heroes in the PICU at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington. Thank you for giving our daughter a second chance. Xxx

56 thoughts on “Out of the darkness and into the light

  1. Beautiful and you brought me to tears again! Bless her and you all endlessly -so glad she is on the path to recovery. SJ xx


  2. Felt all your words Amisha. Glad to hear she is home with all her family now and on the road to recovery. Love in Abundance xxx


  3. Hope your daughter recovers soon and that this never happens again! Wishing you a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year from my little family to yours.


  4. We are blessed to have her, and lucky to have such family and friends.
    I pray no one has to go through such an ordeal


  5. I love reading your posts Amisha, you have a real way with words but your last post brought tears to my eyes, so much so that I felt compelled to write. I can’t imagine many things worse than wondering if you’ll ever see your child smile again. Time is certainly precious. So very happy she is on the mend again. Lots of love to you all, Shruti xxx


    1. Thank you so much Shruti. It us lovely to hear that somebody us reading my blog and enjoying it! As for my little girl, it really was a reminder that we need to appreciate life every single moment. X


  6. Beautifully said! We are so pleased Suhani is home where she belongs. She truly is blessed and so are you.


  7. There is always hope in darkness. When the odds are stacked up against us, there is hope! Xmas can start in earnest, chocalate cake all round. Too much love!


    1. Hey Nitesh, thank you for being a pillar of support all through out this ordeal. You are right, hope is a bright star in the midst of a dark night. Not telling you how many cakes I have eaten this Xmas! :-).


    1. It was a really scary time, and one that just reminds us all that sometimes it is the little things that are the big kids – like watching your kids smile. X


  8. With the blessings of Almighty God and prayers from well wishers our little princess is recovering well. Looking forward to watch her jumping, dancing and singing again. She is a tough cookie and we wish her all the best. Lots of love and hugs from Nani. X


  9. I held my breath at every line, and relived the exact same situation that I went through at Chelsea Westminster with my 5mth old over a year ago. What utter relief, I am so happy for you. Have a blessed Christmas. My now-23 mth old is enjoying his too and all is well! #PoCoLo


    1. Oh my gosh I had no idea my lovely. This must have been SO very scary for you. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through. I am so relieved and pleased to hear she is on the mend. Thinking of you. Thank you for supporting PoCoLo this year xx


      1. Thank you so much Vic. Luckily, we have some amazing friends and family who helped us through. They were the angels who taught who helped us to our feet when our wings forgot how to fly. Thank you for giving us #PoCoLo. X


    2. Oh my god, that must have been so frightening with such a young one. There were other little ones in PICU, and my heart went out to all of them. But I am sure it will make us all appreciate life more and we will never take it for granted. So glad that you had a happy ending too. Happy New Year! X


  10. Fear was there but the prayers were great.
    She will now bring back the laughter and cheer so be cheerful and laugh with her.
    The hard times and tears of sadness turned into tears of joy, this the miracle of their parents love. We will continue to pray for her and her lovely brother.
    Brave parents have brave children.
    God bless her for her strength.
    With lots of love from Vinu, Charu, Aryaa Eesha Hena and Ameet.


    1. Thank you so much for all your love, support and prayers. It is because of friends like you that made our paths easier to walk. We are eternally grateful for your prayers as I believe tgat they were heard and answered. X


  11. So pleased you precious one made it through. The power of prayer from everyone is so strong and as you say would have helped. And the angels were watching 🙂 x #PoCoLo


  12. My heart raced and I felt so moved by the content of this post. What a horrible experience !! But the power of prayers is always magical.
    So pleased all’s well. God bless.


  13. Yes, miracles do occur sometime. And yes, her guardian angels were busy alongside earthly angels – the surgeons, their assistants, monitors, wires and machines breathing for her, all enabled your little angel to see light of life again.

    The manner in which you wrote your story of your fears, concerns, prayers, hopes and eventual ecstasy when she opened her eyes is so beautiful. Reading it has been so joyful for people like me. Thank you so much.


    1. Thank you so much. Your comments are always so wonderful and wise. I also believe that her angels were all around her, in the very air that she breathed. X


  14. Oh my word, every parent’s absolute worst nightmare. So please she came through and is on the mend. Wishing your family a happy, healthy and stress-free holiday xx #Mumsnet2013RoundUp


    1. It was one of the most scariest times, a stark reminder to enjoy and make the most of the precious time that we have together. Here’s wishing you a wonderful New Year! X


    1. She just caught a severe chest infection and probably more than one! It was a very difficult time, but luckily she managed to pull through. She is doing well, and looking forward to seeing all her friends at school. X


  15. Oh my god i am shocked you have going through this i had no idea! i am so very relieved to hear she is doing well and is recovering … I am sending the biggest hugs all round!!

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments, her waking up is the best moment there is!


  16. Oh my I can’t imagine the thoughts that were going through your head at the time, it must’ve been awful. I’m so pleased that you have your little girl back, great #MagicMoments

    Morgan x


    1. I think I was on autopilot the whole time. It is amazing the inner strength you find to help you get through. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.


  17. I am so glad to hear your little one is ok now. I had goosebumps reading this post. But it’s great to focus on the happiness of her being home.


  18. Oh my goodness, I had no idea you went through this. My heart was in my mouth, the entire time. Just the most awful thing you can possibly imagine. Did you find out what was wrong with her? So relieved and thankful she is on the mend x


    1. It was a living nightmare, as we were not sure if she would make it. She had pneumonia and other viruses that affected her lungs. Thanks to all the prayers and wonderful staff that looked after her, she made it. X


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